I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize