So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
