I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
