Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
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Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize