I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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