before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I fill condoms, not promises.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
