Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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