I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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