You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
