You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
