You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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