I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
