she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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