I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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