Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
