What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize