Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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