So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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