College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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