yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
