it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
this boner is exhausting
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
