Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
