he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
