I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
