The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
