Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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