I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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