she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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