Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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