Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
