New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
