I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
