It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My bed smells like the plague
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
