it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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