I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
