i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
