i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
True strength comes from lack of pants
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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