Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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