Acid is not a monday night drug
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
