im having a threesome with these popsicles
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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