Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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