guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
