i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
We got so high we made milksteak
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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