You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
