I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
