ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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