yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
