I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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