Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
