i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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