WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
she woke up with a sticky ear
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.