def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
