Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
did you just send me my own nude
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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