it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
