There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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