tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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