so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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