I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
