I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
