This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
