The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
