Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize