Ambien. No doubt about it.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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