i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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