just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize