I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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