You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize